Dealing with Death by CJ Lopez

“Death and the woodcutter” – Jean Francois Millet

           I don’t get it why people, mostly, don’t like to engage in a conversation about death. They say it’s creepy or very unhappy to discuss, but for me what’s the reason to be afraid of? We are all doomed to die. It’s just we don’t know when, where, and how we are going to end life and meet death.

I’ve seen and witness a lot of passing. They were all strangely repulsive. Except with my grandfather’s death who died beside me. He died in peace. I claim that it’s a relieved for me, for I don’t want to see him suffer anymore. It’s painful. Yes. He was my hero, the one I considered as my father.  But life continues, for again, we are all doomed to die. I just considered my grandfather’s passing as an early goodbye.

I also noticed that my circle of friends don’t take death seriously. They, or let me include myself, we even make jokes about it. There’s one who said “Guys when I die I want you all to wear pink from head to toe’’ “I want all of you to have a dance presentation of my favorite songs during the last vigil” The fact that she likes Beyoncé, we’re going to run the world. “Friends, I want you to cha cha during my funeral procession including the men who will carry my casket” another added. Like imagine, how are we going to arrive in the cemetery with that, us doing the cha cha back and forth.

Death is scary when you’re not ready for it. It’s sad that I used the word “ready’’, for yes, life is supposed to be about living it as intensely as you can and the way  you wanted to live regardless of the circumstances, just the moment.  In reality, we must be ready even if you no longer give a damn about living. Even suicide takes an effort. How do we die? And why we do?

Here are the different manners of death:

The “You die because you’re dying’’ manner.

Philippine summer of 2016, it was April 16^th. I witnessed the death of my grandfather but before that, evening of 15^th I was feeding him his dinner, we joked about anything including me telling him about not letting our old neighbors beat him they should be the death frontrunner.  My grandpa suffered from heart enlargement adding his lung complication that he sometimes has a trouble in breathing. It hurts seeing him in that situation. He’s the one who always reminds me with an advice ‘’you must do well in school, don’t be stubborn’’ that became a mantra. From elementary to high school he’s always present during my moving-up ceremony and graduation. He’s proud of me. I can tell that. He always brags about me and his other grandchildren. A proud “lolo’’, indeed.  What makes me feel special is that aside from the fact that I grow up with him, with my grandparents, I am the one who received a lot of wisdom from him. My grandpa, he always tells me to always take the right path. Despite the reason that I know it was him who didn’t accepted my biological father when my mother got pregnant. Why my coward father chose to leave. I’m still grateful for having him as my lolo. The day arrives when it’s time for him to leave.  He was just in his bed lying stiffly so I helped him make his back straight when suddenly I noticed that he’s no longer breathing. I thought he was just throwing another prank just like he always do about him dying. I even laughed and told him that I’m not impressed with his acting. Reality strikes me when he’s really not breathing anymore realizing that he’s gone. Rested in peace and it took me weeks to recover from the pain.  But soon I accepted and thought about at least my grandfather will no longer have sleepless nights and now he can sleep all he wants. Free from pain, free from worries.

The “you’ve just been purposely killed’’ death

I was watching The Walking Dead series when this line was said by a character and caught my attention ‘’In this life now, you kill or you die. Or you die and you kill’’ It was the Governor of a protected place with walls surrounding for protection and security. He was introduced as a charismatic leader who will do anything just to protect his people. Later on the Governor was revealed to be brutal and mad man. He chose to kill to save his self and his people. “You die and you kill’’ here means after you die you’ll turn into a walker, or a zombie in universal understanding.

Life is like the Hunger Games, a battle for survival, depends on the situation. And when this situation arrives, it’s either you kill or get killed.  There’s always a reason why people kill but the point is that the victim was purposely killed. How about you? Will you kill to protect yourself from the supposed to be killer making you the new murderer or stick to the plot of you as the victim?

The stupid death

These are accidental deaths. You can die out of your stupidity. It’s ironic that the youth of today are a fan of a quotation ‘’You Only Live Once’’ but they do things or acts that are dangerous but still chose to do because YOLO!Well “You Only Die Once’’ as well, YODO! There are those who are careless, it would be better if it’s only that person who dies but accidentally kills another.

I choose to die manner

A boy hanged himself because his girlfriend doesn’t want to be with him anymore. The girl demands a break up but the guy is opposed to it. The girl continued that’s why he ended his life. That’s it, as simple as that and he simply welcomes death with that. Our emotion is really powerful. It can create an inspiring day. Can persuade, motivate us to do things. It can go deeper, deeper that can lead someone into the darkest part of it creating a distress.  The environment and the society take part for this. Like there is news of a nine-year-old commits suicide after bullying. Well these will all depends on the individual. We are all the captains of our own soul.

Dying is easy if you want to. You can just grab a knife and then you know what to do. You can end someone’s life, there’s a lot of ways to do that. I’m not advertising death to everyone. Facing death is hard especially when you’re in the situation unprepared, when you still have an unfinished business to do. The core of this dealing with death is if you’re ready regardless of who dies. Are you ready to face death whether would it be natural, accidental, intentional, or murdered? Will you choose to battle it and live your life until the day that you will realize that you have live it. Or will you just go through the motions and play Russian roulette and wait until the luck gets you? Your choice.